The Calm After the Storm
Hello fellow bloghoppers! I'm out of schoolwork for a while because I've been really sick out of all the stress. Days off are a must for pre-law students like me. I hope everyone else is doing fine in spite the terrible weather conditions. Here in the Philippines, you can never tell when it's going to be too hot, or too cold, or too wet or too dry. It's exhausting. :(BUT ANYWAY. Lately I've been going through different types of moods, and just a few months ago I was on the verge of breaking down and nearly killing myself, literally. It made a huge impact on my health.
A lot of people may give you all kinds of advice when it comes to overcoming depression. It's not like there will ever be a perfect combination of things to do and people to trust in order to continue on a happy life. Nobody has that particular recipe that applies to everyone's sadness. You and I may have different taste buds, and get attracted to different types of clothing and boys, but seriously. Even if I'm not the most positive person I know, I've had a tremendous amount of downs in my life that has made me look at it under a brighter light.
Depression may come from all aspects that make a person emotionally dependent. You can base happiness on grades, on family, your pets, your car, your best friend, your enemies, your house, your food, your dreams, your goals, what you want to be, what you don't want to be, and most especially the love of your life. I know that some may say, to become the most rational human being, you mustn't stick too much to your emotions, and the key to becoming happier, is to detach yourself from them.
Although that's not always the case.
I've tried being that rational person, and I found out that trying to escape your emotions may not always be the solution to all sadness. Basically, I became even more miserable trying to figure out how to push all my feelings away and blocking everyone else who tried to care. If there was one thing I learned from that experience, it was to never do it again. Running away from feels, and trying to eliminate all types of emotions, will only result to you being unable to control them once they're there.
Previously in this blog, as a younger Angel, I posted a list of things that can make a person smile. It's very simple, and very young and hip. It depicted the me that was very youthful and undoubtedly problem-free.
Eventually, I had to grow up. Problems of my own arose and what I saw simple back then became all too complicated now. Life began to be much more of a headache than of a fruitcake the moment I turned 18. I know, it may still be young, but at the peak of this age you'll realize that not everything tops itself with glitter, and it's not always rainbows, butterflies, pancakes and puppies. Rain comes, butterflies die, pancakes rot and puppies grow old.
But that doesn't mean you can love them any less.
Let me tell you why.
1. To live is an incredibly great adventure.
Whatever life has to offer to you, there are ways and there are ways where you can turn every obstacle into an adventure. These challenges are opportunities not every individual gets. We aren't machines. We are capable of feeling all kinds of things, and it's wonderful to think that we are able to smile, and to laugh and to jump and to sing, even if life throws all kinds of tomatoes and lemons toward us. We have the power to make tomato soup and lemonade. Life is so beautiful, and these rows build you. Everything happens for a greater good. You just have to look at it through a different lens.
2. There is so much to appreciate.
Blessings come in all shapes and sizes. It may not be a blessing to you now, but slowly it will turn into lessons that you can apply in life and will help you grow stronger. A break up? That is just one of the most painful types of blessings God could ever give you. The bad things that happen don't define you as a person. You don't have to move on from them. Put these memories in your back pocket and take them with you to the next chapter of your life. Live on without them, but don't forget to take the marks and scars with you. The way you see things affect the things you learn to appreciate. Almost everything in life has a side that will make you love whatever it is that you have. Give your dog a hug, kiss your mom good night, look your girlfriend in the eye and tell her you love her. You may not always appreciate what you have, but in the end these are things you don't just appreciate. These are things you will love for the rest of your life.
3. Things are capable of lasting forever.
I believe in the concept of forever. The point of you being unhappy, is just another reason for you to forget about being sad. It is possible for you to be lonely all your life if you don't stop holding on to the things that make you feel down. Happiness is something that we choose, and just like sadness, it is capable of lasting forever only if you decide that it will. You can't engage into something without committing to it. Whether it is to break up or to make up, stick to that decision. To last forever is an awfully wonderful aspiration.
4. Things are capable of ending.
Now, don't get me wrong. This may be contradictory to my last statement of the concept of forever. What I mean here is that things are only able to end if we choose for it to end. And this decision is what may be able to last forever. Keep hold of the people you choose to stay in your life, and let go of the things that hinder you from becoming the happy, beautiful person that you are.
5. People appreciate you.
Not everything you don't like about yourself, everyone hates just as much. You have no room for insecurities. Confidence is something you give to yourself, and people appreciate you more when you have it. Love your entire being. Don't center your world onto someone who doesn't show appreciation towards you. It's their loss. Inhale the love and exhale all the hate. You are you, and people like that about you. Not just someone, but a lot of people who are thankful that you're alive. Live with that as a motivation to go on. To keep going on.
6. Things are uncontrollable.
Moments come and go, people come and leave, things are uncontrollable. It's not up to you to dictate every single thing that's going to happen in your life. It's only a matter of how you face these things, and how you turn them into something that you need in order to sustain that inner peace of yours. Things don't happen because you let them happen, and they don't always happen just because you make them happen. Things just happen, and you have to be flexible about it. Life doesn't always adjust to your needs. You have to keep up with life's pace, and you have to control whatever it is that you know you are capable of controlling. Otherwise, you have to let things happen, and cope up, adjust, look at it positively, and slowly, it will start to be all up to you. It's up to you how you feel about things, and it's up to you to do the things you want, but you have to accept that you cannot force someone to tell the truth if their entire being chooses to tell a lie. Stick to you, and stick to those ideas you agree with. You cannot be forced, as much as you cannot force anyone else. You can't stop the world from turning on its axis, but you can turn your frown upside down.
7. The clock ticks, but only because it was invented to do so.
Time is a manmade concept. Age is something human beings created. These things go by because it's nature's will. You can stop your clock, but your heart will keep beating. You can stop counting your birthdays, but that doesn't mean you stop celebrating. Time is gold, but patience is a virtue. You can focus on solving your problems, but that doesn't mean you aren't allowed to keep track of your blessings. Life is a gift. Remember your past, but don't leave your heart there. Live by the present, but don't forget to look forward to the future. Age is just a number, the clock is just an invention. Give yourself time for improvement. Lessons don't have expiration dates. It is never too late to realize the good things.
Everything else in this world dies, but that doesn't mean your happiness can be one of them. Your grandma is smiling down on you, your dog is outside waiting for you to snuggle him, your mom is in the kitchen cooking your breakfast, your dad has news about something he found on the internet, your sister found out something about you that she cannot wait to tease you for, and your brother might be planning an evil scheme that one day will be the laughing stock of your friends, your ex is out there with someone else she calls her love, your love is out there treasuring the love that you have, your best friend is out there loving someone of his or her own, and your enemies cannot wait to be proved wrong. There is always a calm after a storm, and there will come another storm, and another calm. Life has to go on. We don't function so much to make a living, that we have to stop living a life. Please don't take depression to heart. It beats for a reason, and until you have fully found that reason, don't make it stop. Pray for happiness and strive for it. It can only be done by you. :)
Top-O! ❤
So lately people have been asking how in the midst of all the stress, am I still able to take good care of my youthful skin? Well, don't ask me. Go ask my boyfriend.
.....
Just kidding.
The secret isn't much of a secret since my classmate has been advertising this product all over our class. I'm just here to plug in how amazing it really is at the price of 380php.
Now let's not jump to the conclusion that my face is as flawless as Miranda Kerr's or Emma Watson's. I get those occassional break outs whenever I'm on my period and whenever I'm exposed to intense heat and really badly formulated make up. I don't use this product for skincare. I just use it as a finishing touch for my daily-foundation routine.
The secret is this:
There isn't a need for me to take a picture of the back since this is all that the product says on its container. I've been using it for a few weeks now and I'm so happy with the results, I'm not even lying. (I know most skincare product ads, posts or plugs tend to stretch the truth a little bit, but this one is an exception. Believe me.)
This is my top-o (topical-oxygen) facial mist. I used to be frantic about buying things online, but thanks to my classmate's advertising skills, I was slightly persuaded into buying the product she's been raving about. I hope everyone gets a little something out of this post.
Now don't get me wrong. We are fully aware that 380 pesos might be a lot of money to spend on such a small product as this. I could buy two liptints and an oil-film pack with that much money. But anyway, I just want you guys to know that it is worth it. Thr ingredients are as simple as just oxygen and salt water that's put in a small can. For some reason, it was only until recenly that I researched about oxygen facials, and I must say, it is absolutely wonderful. Celebrities like Nicole Kidman and Kim K have been getting them, and even if I have no plans in entering Hollywood, I want to achive that glow!!! And good for me, I found that glow in this small can right here.
Top-o kept my face in a matte finish everytime I retouch, and keeps my face shine-free for about 5-6 hours without having to retouch my powder/foundation. It has helped solve my oily skin problems in just a week, and it is really something to celebrate about. Haha.
I know I'm probably wasting another post on such shallow findings, but I just had to share this. You can get this at @slimandskin in Instagram for 380php + shipping.
Trust me, you won't regret it. :D
Labels: Skincare
Mid-semester blues.
So basically it is midterms week soon. I just want everyone to know how hard it is to have made it this far. I am completely and utterly exhausted. How I cope up with all of the workload, I have no idea. I barely have time to do anymore research about my favorite groups. The hiatus is killing me. I miss my boys. I want the Die Jungs photobook, for crying out loud. :( Now, since I have close to absolutely nothing exciting to share to you guys about my life these days, (unless you find immense studying fun) let me introduce to you my nightly skincare regimen!!
Tadaaaa!
From left to right: Bioré Pure Oil Clear Facial Foam, Etude House Happy Collagen Foam, Etude House Skin Malgeum, TFS Aloe Vera Cleansing Cream, Nature Republic's Aloe Vera Soothing gel, and Mizon's Snail Repair Hydro-mist
I would review all these one by one, but it isn't really the thing of my blog. I'm just happy it works really well for me. I love how my skin feels so refreshing despite all of the stress that's being thrown at me by school. This routine might not work as much if you have dry skin, but I'm sure you guys would wanna try at least one of them. These are just brilliant formulas that give you that flawless Korean glow. Words cannot express how thankful I am of the brands mentioned above.
Besides this, I have a complete set of Asian make up on my dresser that's been making me feel like I have that photogenic aura I've been wanting to achieve since high school. If I have time, I might post about those too. And if I have even more time, I might just tell you about a few lifestyle changes ever since I entered my junior year of college. Everything is just so hectic, it's difficult to keep up with the things I need to do to maintain the youth of my face and figure. (I'm turning 20 next month, I cannot believe it.)
Praying for more blessings to come! I hope you guys have a good weekend. :)
Hello, fellow Kpoppers, Jpoppers and stalkers!
I haven't been active in a while. My entire summer vacation is currently revolving round a lot of things, and so far I've failed to update this blog for about a year. I'm going to apologize for the delay and update you with a few things that might help you keep up to what's been happening to this selfie queen. 1. I'm a junior now!!
Okay maybe an incoming junior.
College hasn't been very friendly with me lately, but I still manage to survive with my optimism. Graduation is just around the corner, and so I'm pretty excited with whatever it is that's in store for me. Fingers are crossed for the MUN next year!!
2. I'm a make up freak now.
Maybe something I've never been brave enough to admit.
My bag is 50% school supplies and readings, with the other 50% being my vanity kit. I didn't know how to be a conscious make up user until I reached my sophomore year, and so the kit grew bigger every month.
3. I'm obsessed with Korean skincare.
Check my bff's beauty blog out!!
http://mycaermita.tumblr.com
4. Single but happy
I'll talk about it some other time. On the contrary though, I really really am happier now that I'm independent.
Not like I never once was the queen of pride.
All my relationships have been rollercoasters of madness because of this pride of mine. Hopefully someday I'll learn to keep it down for someone I will really love. #deep
5. I have been detaching myself from kpop, jpop and other things related to fandom
School duties.
I might be able to explain this more in future posts.
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Honestly that's pretty much it. Hopefully I'd be able to update a little more with things. Here's a random selfie of me and my toy Snowbite.
Labels: life
COMEBACK
I didn't think I'd ever have the chance to write about this, but I've waited long enough and now is the time I let out the beast.Read more »
RANDOM POST DEDICATED TO XIUMIN AND TAKAKI.
Right, as we all know in this Kpop/Jpop world, every birthday of every favorite band should be relevant, yes? Of course yes, unless you've been living in a cave wherein no such fandoms exist. Birthdays are one of the most important dates besides debut dates. One must know of such important days in the calendar if he/she wants to call herself a true "fan". Not knowing when a member's birthday is almost as worse as actually forgetting it. I don't know why I'm making such a big deal out of this now. It seems that I haven't really dedicated any of my fine time to my fangirl-ing lately, it's painful. Good to know there's still a bit of it left in me.Okay, so on the 26th of March 1990, two of the most beautiful people in the asian-pop world were born. One is Japanese, and one is very much Korean (although he is also member of a Chinese sub-group). I'm excited to greet the both of them, but before all that, I would like to first talk about each. I'm making this post my "Taka-Min Appreciation Post" for those who read just this part.
Happy 23rd/24th birthday my lovely idols!
Takaki, my dearest ideal nii-chan, may you have more girls to come (pun intended) and may they all be pained after you've suddenly broken up with them. :) You've lost so much weight, and I still think you're sexy no matter what! Even if I've broken up with hardcore fangirl-ing on HSJ, I am still a fan of you guys, and I will support you til the end! :)
Xiuminnie my little Baozi, I still refuse to think that you're 24. I just wanna cry now seeing you all slim and un-Baozi-like. Please stay healthy even if I know that diet seems to be the hardest thing to do for you. (Lols) I love you amd EXO, and EXO-M! No other band comes close, I promise you that, even if it takes forever, I will wait for your comeback. You're special because even if you're the oldest, seems to me you don't age a single day! I love you my baby Baozi! May you stay Korean and may you learn more Chinese. Hahaha. (not making any sense now.)
Oh ma booooooy..
Last week, I listened to SISTAR19's comeback single, and as expected, they were gonna do something UN-SISTAR-like. The song was so sad, it got me the bad case of LSS once again. Sistar19 was one of those first girl bands that got me into Kpop. I missed "Ma Boy" and "Loving U", really. But I think this is good for SISTAR. Hyorin was so hot in "Gone, Not Around Any Longer" and Bora's ass omfg. I love them. And I love the song. It's actually great that they're stepping out of that sexy image and stepping into a serious, dramatic one. I'm not surprised they're PAK in the week's charts are all over AK. They're doing so well, and I'm so happy about it. Haha.
So what do you guys think of the new song? :)
Bora. <3
Labels: kpop, SISTAR, Sistar19
My JE Dancing Machines
And because I am more of a JPOP fan than a KPOP fan, I am going to show 3 of my favorite Johnny's dancing machines! *throws confetti around blog* But of course before I start stating in my own opinions on this certain list, I shall warn you people...this is all purely from my view point! So if you think I'm ridiculous and/or delusional, you may drop me a comment or two. :)Okay then let's do this.
Yamada Ryosuke
I wouldn't know what I'll be if I didn't put Ryosuke in my list. I'd probably hit myself for not swallowing my pride all the time. I've been denying my love for him ever since he started to become the face of HSJ. He and I have been in this love/hate relationship for far too long, and so I must show him the love that he deserves now.
This twit might not be the best dancer when he started out as a tiny junior. According to his exchange of letters with Hikaru back in the old days at Shokura revealed that he couldn't dance at all when he auditioned. Despite having two left feet before, he worked his way up to become the better dancer that he is now. I'm proud of Ryosuke because not only can he attract the attention of the camera as well as millions of fangirls, but he can also work the moves on his own.
Still not interested though. Jk. Ugh, Ryosuke.
Ohno Satoshi
This man is an all-in-one, really. I know I've posted about him being in my top JE singers before, and now I see him again in this list? Wow, Ohno. Just wow. I've always known how he could do live stage well. Even if he's the shortest among the rest of the Arashi members, it's hard not to notice him.
In my opinion, Ohno could be one of the main reasons why Arashi really sells concerts. I love him, and he will forever be on every list. Haha.
Chinen Yuri
The Jellyfish, gymnast, dance genius of Hey Say JUMP, how could I not include this squirrel? He can do flips better than my stomach when I'm nervous. The moves, the charisma, it would all have to be Chinen Yuri. I love him to bits, and I love him even more whenever I look at past shows that showcase his acrobatic abilities and unending charm.
I know I've given up Hey Say JUMP, and I know it's pretty hypocritical of me to be writing this, but I swear I will support Chinen no matter what. He and his skills on stage and off. He may not be like his tall members, and he may not have the best voice among all JUMP members, but hey, it's Chinen. No one could ever do the jazz better than he does. ;)
Name: Angel Tolosa
Lulepap has been my personal blogging site since 2009. I write a lot about life and post fan fiction, and dedicate 80% of this blog on fingirling. There are so many things you can find around here. Skincare, make up, kpop, jpop, self-help, short stories and poetry. There’s a lot that goes on in this teenage mind of mine. Come explore life with me.
Travel to Europe 
